Gmail's spam filter isn't ENTIRELY foolproof....

Yes, that's right. Gmail marked an email from the Google Adsense team as spam. Not visible on the right side is the offer to map the location of Google's headquarters.

Written on the back of my journalism school stylebook

Profs make unreasonable demands on my skills so I get used to it. They make me better.

Obama bearpaw cheek?

Does Obama have a bear-paw birthmark on his right cheek?

Fun video

Oren Lavie - Her Morning Elegance
Uploaded by IgnitionVM

Best SNL skit in a long time

I love ", explanation of bizarre foreign expression"

The New York Times has done this twice lately that I've seen.

“That guy’s like this,” Mr. Ishikawa said, lowering his voice and holding up four fingers of his right hand without the thumb, a derogatory gesture indicating a four-legged animal and referring to the buraku.

and

“Those macaroons — they’re so hard they could choke a Christian,” said Marc Beekenkamp, a Web designer, using an expression that means the dish is hard to digest.

My Christmas present to you.

CNN outdoes itself on the heds tonight

Anti-kidnapping consultant kidnapped.


Boys school probe brings back pain


Priest blasts Playboy
 
Bonus, because I couldn't make this shit up if I tried and I've been trying lately -here's how the priest is introduced in the transcript to which I linked: "Let me bring in somebody for whom this hits home. He's one of the best known priests in the United States. His name is Father Cutie."

The controvery is over a Mexican Playboy cover featuring an Argintinean model posed in a way that reminds some people of Mary, Queen of Scots...I mean the Biblical virgin Mary. Apparently this is a big deal to the people who are offended (well, duh) and therefore Father Cutie has to get all literally righteous on them. Or something. Read the link, this dude's crazy. 

Iowa

Around six thirty William, Shannon's cousin, comes in and asks me if I could please sub in for someone on his pool league team who's sick that day. If they don't have a warm body, they forfeit all five matches. I say sure, for something to do, figuring there'll be a few drinks and maybe some pretty girls. I'm right on one count.

On the way there William tells me ridiculous but true stories about the people I'm about to meet. Despite well-honed journalistic instinct, I'm shitting myself by the time we get to Noe's, whose sign proclaims it has "The best burgers in Ottumwa." William says something cryptic about a loin. I go in the door with a "huh?" look on my face.

We head to the back and meet other members of the pool league. I read over the rules. This is starting to feel like a Grand Theft Auto mission.

Some of the party have very cool tattooes. One guy has a DEA hat. I debate asking him where the good drugs are. Upside - he should know. Downside - the 50 percent chance that Drug Enforcement Agency, not Drug Enjoyment Association, is what's on his hat. I pass and suddenly it's my turn to play.

I keep it close, sinking easy balls and taking advantage of ball-in-hand (no kitchen limits, which I'm so used to) to make up ground. Suddenly I drop three straight and I'm looking at a tough cut into the corner and the game is mine. I hit the cue too high and hard, leaving my opponent a tough shot. He wings the side of the corner pocket and sinks....the cue. The eight goes sliding into safe felt and suddenly I'm being congratulated. Apparently this means I won.

The goal was to win one. I proceed to drink more, sticking with Jack and coke. After seeing they're cheap, I also order a loin - pork, breaded. I'm not sitting with my new friends five minutes with a now-half-empty drink when Brandon's loin arrives.

Here's Brandon's arm tattoo.

And a little bit further over. 

And here, my dear friends, is the loin. I didn't know what I was getting until Brandon's arrived, but I have good luck ordering sandwiches I don't fully understand in Iowa

We have a genuine, totally out of the blue, culinary discovery here. This is not only bigger than both plates it's served on, but possibly the best fried ANYTHING I've had in the near, rememberable future. I got it with everything. Lettuce, tomato, and onions are more or less distractions, but they'r ea nice change of pace. Cause there's enough loin here to make anohter whole sandwich with what's not inside the bun. You really don't need to order fries. Those are William's in the photo.

Oh, and it cost less than extra meat and extra cheese on a Subway footlong.

I lost my next four games. But we ended up winning by one. Meaning that if I hadn't come out, the team would have lost five, and tied. Instead I kept it close, stayed in, and won one, pushing it for the team that hadn't won one yet. Rick better show ujp next time, cause my ass will be back in Pennsylvania.

UPDATE: Here are the crazy spraypaint decorations on the room where we smoked. Smoking is illegal in bars in Iowa.

The bartender, who I'm gonna call Moon cause she's radiant and mixes drinks for night-time drinkin' (this is a compliment) even put my dollar up on the bar.

Here's the bill with the bar in the background.

And here's the closeup of the bill. Notice OBAMA! in the lower right hand corner? We'll see how long that one lasts.

 

 Had a lot of fun. Didn't take the pulse of an understudied people. Just hung out with some. I'm not always a journalist. Yet, somehow, we have a documented account of the events. Hmm.  

And for no apparent reason, me with inappropriately named bread.